Fall come back!!

Today it didn't even reach 60, it's very windy, rainy and nasty out there. It's in the high 40's low 50's at night.... Sad thing is we aren't ready for it. Our heaters are the only thing in our house run on gas, and with all of the financial troubles we've been through, I let that get disconnected several months ago. With expectations of taking care of it in the next few weeks. So needless to say we are without heat in our house right now. And they've added a large deposit onto our bill that has to be paid as well.
It's only 74 in the house right now but with the expected lows over the next few nights I'm afraid it'll get worse before it gets better.
Through Thursday our high will not be over 63, with the low at 45. Then on Friday our high gets up too 70, gradually getting up to 76 by next Wed, with the low still getting in mid 50's. It always seems we are taking a few steps forward to just get knocked back down. I'm REALLY tired of it all right now...

Off to work on the house some and get the kids into bed. I have to go add extra blankets to there bed for tonight.

Fall is finally here!!

Today the weather here in Dallas was absolutely GORGEOUS!!!! This is my ideal weather. I'm sitting here with the back door open, listening to my windchime in the tree. Kids are in bed, Maisy is lying next to me... And Jeff; well he's on the couch behind me, snoring. :-) My mom kept Peyton and Aleena last night and Joey ref'd his games all day. For the first time in MONTHS Jeff and I had a day alone, well until 2 this afternoon. And what a great day it was. We went window shopping for xmas ideas for the kids, got halloween costumes for the kids and enjoyed lunch before heading out to Peyton's soccer game.

My mom and Johann took the kids to an event here in town and Aleena got her face painted; a gorgeous butterfly...


All of the kids played outside this afternoon with some other kids from the neighborhood, here is Joey. Look how long his hair is getting!!

And here's handsom Peyton sliding down on his skateboard.... It was just a great relaxing day....
Tomorrow I start my rotation in Sunday Church for 2-5 yr olds. I was supposed to do it a few weeks ago but they decided to start someone on rotation that week since my grandfather had just passed.

PS... my cable is on again.. we went a week without it and we spent a lot of 1 on 1 time with each other, and a lot of family time. It was great. i don't watch much TV, so it wasn't a big deal for me.

Stop...Rewind....Push Play again..

That is what I wish I could do with my day today. Well not the entire day, but from the moment I walked in the door from picking the kids up. I came in and sat on the couch to check my email, like I do each day when I walk in the door. Just to have Peyton stop in the kitchen and let out a loud Sigh, to which Aleena quickly went to investigate what was going on.. Then she quickly ran through the house letting out loud screams and crying, jumping on the couch. I lean up to glance into the kitchen to find Maisy's dog dish completely covered in Ants; there all in her food, along the baseboard and under the stove. So I go change from my work clothes and quickly get to work killing them... I don't have any bug spray so nothing better then Oven Cleaner. :-) I had to pull out the stove, and considering it's been about a year since that's been done I quickly found other things to take care of while it was pulled out. Then I figured while I'm pulling things out, might as well attack the Fridge as well, so I pulled that out and cleaned. When I did daycare these were things I did all of the time, I just don't have time for those little things anymore.
Well this morning Jeff decided to bring the cooler in from the back patio, as it had some capri suns left in it from the kids games. WELL he forgot to put the drain plug back in, so the minute I grabbed the handle to move it out of the dining room, I had a puddle all over the floor, and on the carpet. So I got to work taking care of that.
I'm STILL on my cycle.. Can someone please tell Aunt Flo she's extended her welcome and she needs to pack her bags and get out of here!!!
Ok, I'm off to sort out dinner and help Aleena with her homework. She has a game tonight at 7:30. Were hoping for a win tonight! We are in 4th place out of 8 teams.. Have 2 more games to go...

Moody...

Ok, so I'm not menopausal, but after being on my cycle now for 9 days, I can so relate to some of these.. I was at the DR on the 1st and he has started me on a new pill, hoping it'll bring some relief. I'm so tired of the bloating, cramping, headaches, stomach aches etc. Tomorrow will be day 10. I've gone as long as 16 days on a cycle, only to be off for 5-6 days and on it again...

2 steps forward, 3 steps back..

OK, not really 3 back... but for the 1st time since Jeff lost his job last year we are without one of our extra's. Our Direct TV was shut off today because Jeff's check was only 1/4th of what I had anticipated it to be. Which really sucks.. It'll be Halloween (my next pay check) before I can afford to pay it and turn it back on. My check was budgeted to take care of the important things that HAD to be paid.. And his was enough to cover a few smaller things... Cable isn't a priority right now compared to electric, cell phone etc. Considering how far I drive on a daily basis, my cell phone is a must. SO the kids are busy playing UNO right now. It'll be good to not have a TV to tie up our time, I just hope in 2 wks I don't have to pay any extra fees to have it restored. We shall see.... So, that just means that all of that extra $$ will be on his check at the 1st of the month. His office didn't get all of there commission cut to them this cycle for whatever reason, so it'll be on the next check... So, until then..... Thankfully I can watch some of my much needed TV on the PC now, and we have a ton of movies.. and sports out of the yingyang to keep us busy. Jeff will just miss his NFL on Sunday...

Coke VS Pepsi

Ok, I know everyone has there favorite drink, and are quick to turn there nose up at any other soft drink... But this is pushing it... LOL

Hurt Hurt Go Away..

When will the hurt go away?

It’s approaching 5 months since my world was flipped turned upside down. 5 months ago when all of the energy, love, time and trust that I poured into our relationship seemed to be torn into pieces and stomped on with every breath I took. Some days I feel like it’s never happened; other days the pain is so raw, like it just happened yesterday.
Each day I pray that the thoughts don’t enter my mind; that I don’t say anything to harm our relationship. That the love and trust for him will come back into my heart that once was there. I hate remembering all of the things I read. For no reason at all, it will just creep into my thoughts. Certain songs will come on that make my stomach turn. To see someone that resembles this person makes me want to cry. Crying…. Yes, it’s something I still do. Not as often as I used to, but I still stand in the shower at times sobbing. Asking why… what did I do wrong? I still have sleepless nights over it, tossing and turning, having dreams (or nightmares) about it all.
Last month I went home to Michigan for my grandfather’s funeral. It was the hardest trip I’ve had to take. Not only because I was attending the funeral. His death is the 1st one in my immediate family; I’ve never lost anyone close to me. It was a hard trip because the last one I made up there was in May, to be at my grandfather’s side when we got his diagnosis – I was supposed to be pouring my heart and soul into my grandfather. Instead I was hurting, slowly dying inside. Because the night I arrived in Michigan , I made the discovery that’s caused me so much pain. I just want the hurt, the pain, the lack of trust, the anger I feel, to go away; never to resurface again.
I made a comment to him one day about not liking that I still have these memories, and he said something back to me. He said you don’t have to think about it... I don’t have to think about it? I WISH there were something I could do to not think of it. I don’t ask to have this pain in me. I don’t wish everyday for more tears. I can be fine for days at a time, and then all of a sudden it’s there again. I love him with all that I have, all that I am… And I’m trying my best to forget. I know I’ll never completely forget. He’s still very remorseful for what he’s done. I know in his heart of hearts, that if he could rewind time and do it again, he wouldn’t have done what he did. But the fact remains that it happened.
I’m not checking his emails as much as I used too. I’m no longer logging in on a daily basis to check his call logs. I still question some things. I hate that he’s working in an office with women; that he’s got women he has to deal with on a daily basis. He’s working a part time job, and I hated the night he called me to let me know they asked him to work late. My stomach was in knots wondering if he were being honest with me. I sat up that night reading my bible, and just praying that everything would be OK. I’ve always said I couldn’t stay in a relationship that lacked trust. Without the trust, you really have nothing. I know he’s working everyday to help give that back to me. It’s just going to be a long, hard journey. I believe he knows there better not be a next time. If there is, there’s no doubt I’ll be gone.
Thanks to those of you around that still ask how I’m doing. And if there’s anything you can do to help. I’ve had people volunteer to watch the kids so that Jeff and I can have alone time, I’ve had hugs, and prayers. You guys know who you are, and I hope you know when it’s your turn to go through a heartache, that I’ll be there for you just the same. And I pray you’ll never have to be here for me again in this manner.

Sick time again in the Nick of time...

I came home from work today early because I wasn't feeling well. I haven't been feeling well since Sunday morning. My work anniversary is tomorrow (2 yrs, can you believe that??) so that means my sick and vacation time rolls over again then. I've been out of days since the end of May, and as always, it comes just in the nick of time. I'm sitting on the couch with Peyton and he's complaining about what I think is a bug bite on his ankle, and he's scratching at it like crazy. Well then after a few minutes he starts scratching on his leg. I look down and he's got this lacy patterned rash all over this thigh. After a strip search on him, I realize its all over his legs, stomach, and back!!! It appears my baby has 5ths Disease again!! If you go here you may remember out bout with it last year, just after Christmas.

Looks like Dad and I will be staying home with him some this week while we get him better!!!

Quote of the Day

I think this is something that ALL of us could take to heart and really seek to do each day..

“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind... let it be something good.”

Star of the week!!!

This weekend the kids had to play there soccer games in the rain, which was something new for Peyton. We tell the kids before every game "If you score a goal, we'll go out for ice cream"... Well that usually doesn't stop us from going out for ice cream when they fail to score one, but we still tell them.. Well yesterday Peyton scored his first goals.. Yes, I said GOALS.. he scored 2!!! He was so excited about it afterwards. This is a picture Jeff took of him with his cell phone. You can see some dirt on his chin if you look closely, as he took a hit to the face from a ball. But he kept on going. So we went to Braums and had dinner and he got TWO scoops of icecream.. He barely ate one though!! So now he thinks if he scores 5 goals next week that he'll get 5 scoops.... I said we'll have to discuss that later. Jeff and I were 2 very proud parents sitting on the side lines as our baby scored his 1st goal..

WAY TO GO PEYTON..

Not quite sure why he's got his face all scrunched up like he's just sucked on a lemon.. Love you baby...