On again off Again

Yesterday I was so excited when I received a phone call that my Grandma's colon had decided to "join the party"... They removed the NG tube last night and she was doing well. Last night some nurse decided it was a good idea to give her 2 morphine tablets!! HELLO can you not tell from her chart she has ILEUS.. Pain medicines shut her down, DON'T give it to her... A big oops on the nurse for not paying attention, but it was to late. She threw up all morning and begged for the NG tube to be put back in. I didn't go see her yesterday knowing she had a ton of visitors around. But when I went up there to see her today it broke my heart. She looks miserable all over again. What happened to my alert grandmother I had just seen 2 days earlier? She's not in as much pain as she was a few days ago, but just doesn't look well. SO, we now have to let her colon relax again, and try to wean her off of her NG tube and VERY slowly wean her back on to food. It's been almost 2 wks, she's exhausted..
There were many tears shed again today. I have family in town from Michigan and they haven't seen her in over a year. She looks really bad to them I'm sure. We've watched her decline over time, but for them it was a big shock I think. My grandmother is truly the true matriarch over our family. It's hard to describe how pure and great this woman is. She doesn't have an ounce of bad spirit in her. She is just remarkable and great. She has 13 kids, and about 80 grand and great grand kids; we've always said that the day something happens to her, there were be many tears shed. We all know she won't be here forever. Just noone wants to let her go. If it means pain over going, I'll choose going obviously.. But she's ONLY 76... I remember when I was 10-11 yrs old I would have thought 60 was ancient. The older I get, the older old gets. 76 just seems so young. Her step mom (and aunt, I'll explain that later) is going to be I believe 88 in November.
Her kids Becky, Keith and Susan arrived last night, along with Becky's daughter Amy and Keiths son Keith JR. Tonight my cousin Jennifer and her daughter Makayia, and Jennifers sister Regina are coming in from MI. She'll have several people to visit her, and I know she's enjoying it, although she's tired.
Tonight she'd just glance over at one of us and give the hugest smile. I told her I was cold and I was going to climb in bed with her. shortly after I lied next to her in bed, and she pulled her hand out of under the blankets and began rubbing my back and touching my hair. I immediately broke down in tears and had to step away. I've been an emotional wreck all night.. It's been hard.. I know it's only going to get harder.
So you all pray for poop!! Pray that her colon starts working, that she doesn't get an infection, and that she can go home and restart chemo to keep her cancer at bay. I have a photographer that's willing to come out and take pictures of her as soon as we get her home and she's feeling up to it.
I'll keep you all posted. ((HUGS)) Thanks for all of your prayers.