Friendships...

I’ve had my fair share of disagreements, arguments, dealing with cattiness etc.

There is someone that I used to consider a friend until I realized that while she was a great person to talk to, full of wisdom, knowledge and great conversations. There was another side of her that loved to gossip, ridicule others, judgmental, etc. I decided after several months of watching it all take place, I couldn’t be a part of it anymore. Here are just a few examples. The first time I was taken back by the behavior was last year, just after I had been in the hospital for passing out and was getting ready to plan my surgery to fix my broken nose. I was looking for a way to make extra money to pay for the surgery and still allow us extra money to take a summer vacation etc. A friend of mine sells Party Lite and asked me about signing up as a consultant. I’ve hosted several shows for her, and been to several parties and knew a lot about how it worked. This “friend” of mine was already in her books to host a show. This person knew I was thinking about signing up as a way to make money. When I decided to do it, the consultant said “Great, you need XX amount of shows booked in a certain time frame, I’ll let you host her show, I’ll be there with you and it can count as yours!” Well I was EXCITED about it, contacted my friend and said guess what. I get credit for doing your show. She’s going to be there with me, and all I need is this many more shows and I’m on my own. Well, to say that this friend was upset would be an understatement. She was ready to cancel her show, How Dare the 2 of us work together and switch around the consultant on her show and not let her know about it, she had already told all of these guests that the other lady was going to be her consultant etc and now she’d have to let them all know I’D be the one doing it. So needless to say I was upset, contacted the Consultant and let her know what was going on and decided to back out of selling it, because I had just been shot down by someone that should have been a friend. I’ve listened to this person say time and time again “Can you believe that her husband did and said that, there is NO way mine would act like that”, “I’d like to plan a get together for all of our kids but I don’t want so and so to show up”, “I’m so sick of her going on and on about her best friend like that all of the time”, “So and So needs to get a grip on her money, makes me sick she’s spending XX amount on these things, and won’t do this for her kids” etc.. But I’d see her hugging on these people when she seen them, acting like nothing was wrong.

So anyway, I left this group of friends, knowing that the ones that really thought of me as a friend would keep in touch. And they have. And there’s still those hanging on to her like she can do no wrong, only because they haven’t yet witnessed her behavior, or had it turn on them yet. Those that have had it turned on them, don’t realize it yet. I was always there for events as much as I could be, running from one side of town to the next numerous times, doing car pooling, etc. The last 2 wks were rough on me. I was moving into a new house in April. I had taken Friday and Monday off of work to do the move. The week leading up to it was spent packing up boxes, taking care of my dog that was going into labor anytime, still working out of the house full time, taking the kids to and from school/daycare, and maintaining my household. I managed to go out and get a birthday gift from the group. I started the move on Friday. On Saturday I went to a Birthday Party while in the middle of my move. On Sunday I went to an Easter Egg Hunt. Both of these functions involved close to an hour drive each way, trying to find clothes for my kids in the middle of the move, dealing with tired and grouchy kids who were being shuffled all around etc. On Monday my kids went to school and I dealt with the house, trying to unpack, clean etc, and dealing with the 5 new puppies we had a few nights before our move. I went back to work on Tuesday. This would be the start of a few exhausting weeks for me. I was getting up at 5AM for work, leaving work at 4, and picking up 3 kids in 3 different spots, driving home (which I’d finally arrive back at around 6). Then I’d do dinner, baths, homework etc while in the midst of trying to sift through boxes, and maintain some sanity. Months before the move I had signed up to take part in a MODS (March of Dimes) walk, which was to take place the weekend after my move. It started early in the AM, in downtown Dallas. I was literally exhausted and not even running on fumes anymore. The weather was calling for serious rain and thunderstorms, so I decided the night before after crawling into bed (after midnight) with aching muscles and a headache that I wasn’t going to attend the walk. Well the next few days were spent with me putting up with rudeness, snide comments etc from her and a few other girls. The same girls that I had done all of this running around for the weekend before. These same girls had missed many functions for lack of money, time, interest in going etc. So all of that shed a lot of light onto how things were not supposed to be between friends. So I as politely and respectfully as I could, removed myself from the situation just briefly explaining how I felt. It wasn't just these 2 circumstances that lead to my decision. These are just a few poignant things that stand out in my memory of it all.

This weekend my kids seen these people, and they are innocent in all of this and as children don’t deserve to know what’s happened over the past few months. Aleena especially was thrilled to see this person after not having seen her for months. The lack of decency and respect shown for my daughter sickened me. She got a smile and ignored after that. My kids tried to start conversation with them and their kids, and were shun upon. This same person decided to contact me after seeing my blog that I was having some problems in my relationship, that her daughter was coming home, asking for help on a job. But when my daughter wants some type of affection from her, she doesn’t have the time or energy to do it. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want all of the other girls to know that she still contacted me? Who knows? But it’s a relationship that I can now say I’ve tried. I’ve learned. I’m done.

Quote: Don’t give Quality time to Unqualified People.